Talking To Your Partner About Sex Toys

Using a sex toy is an alternative way of spicing up your sex life, to fizzle out sexual boredom. For a choice that brings excitement into relationships, it is not a thing to be frowned at or be ashamed about, when making such a suggestion to your significant other. The best way to bring up this sensitive subject, is to have an honest and open talk that comes from a place of desire with the intent of supporting and solely pleasing your partner and yourself. There is no rule of thumb as too early or too late in the relationship to bring up the subject, and finally, understand that it is perfectly normal and there is nothing bizarre in wanting to get a sex toy in the bedroom and wanting to try it out with someone you trust and feel comfortable around.

Some ways to introduce sex toys.

Open conversations towards sex in your relationship.

Having constant and open conversations about your sex life when things are going well and when there is an issue, especially sexual, is a healthy form of communication between couples. Experts say that talking about sex can increase the intimacy levels between lovers, because it helps you to better understand what and how you both want to be treated sexually. These conversations help to boost your sex life, because you both talk about the sensations you feel and enjoy and how to reach climax and more, also exploring different options in the bedroom.

Think about their feelings:

Remember to be mindful of their feelings and reassure them that there is nothing wrong with them, it is just for the sake of trying out new things, and being adventurous or exploring the wild side, and they need not worry about being replaced by an electronic pleasure toy or you being sexually unsatisfied with them. Always make room for understanding for your partners doubt about where they stand with you, gently reassure them that it is mutually beneficial, and be careful not to dismiss any concerns they might have about it.

Be specific about wanting a sex toy.

When you have established a free non-judgmental atmosphere of what you both like and are comfortable with each other, then it is time to talk to your partner about sex toys. It is disrespectful to put your partner on the spot by just bringing out a sex toy and expecting them to play along, without hearing their grievances, if they have any about using a sex toy. Remember to be respectful and considerate about their feelings, avoid saying things that sounds like blames or sounding dissatisfied. A good way you could start this could be showing them an article that would explain things properly to them and talk more about it with them. Make the conversation lively, throw in excitement and tell them the fun the toy would bring to your sex lives.

Pick a toy.

There are a lot of ranges and different types of sex toys out there that you both could try, easy to use especially for beginners and what urges you want fulfilled. It is very important to tell your partner what type of toy you would prefer, so you both are on the same page and spend time finding out what toy would excite your body and watch your partners body language to know what would work for them or ask them if there is something that they would like or visit a sex shop or scroll through an online sex store like and decide with your partner what would work for you.

Learn about your toys.

After getting the toy that you and your partner would love to try out, spend time learning about your selection, and become well aquatinted with it before trying it out with your partner in bed. Understand how it turns on, how the intensity increases or decreases, the vibration patterns and more, these are things you should understand before using it on yourselves, learning about the toy with your partner, would even be better, so if they have a question about how something works, they can be clarified and know how to use the toy properly.

Keep the conversation going.

After the experience, it is important to talk with your partner about how the experience went, no matter how awkward that might be like, the more you talk about it, you tend to realize that the uncomfortable conversation changes over time and just flows. Find out if it would be something they would consider doing often or if they would no longer want to try it out again, talk about how using the toy made them feel and if they would like to try other ones, remember the first experience should not be a determinant of how it would always be. Your sex toy journey with your partner should be collaborative and something you both would ride out together with excitement rather than something they are pressured into doing.


 It is fun and exciting to try out something new with your best friend to help grow intimacy with them. But there are also scenarios where your partner is not comfortable with it or it does not appeal to them, there could be a lot of reasons why they would not be comfortable using a sex toy, it could stem from fear, past experiences, trauma or it is just not something they would ever consider doing. If your partner is not willing to experiment this, you should consider how much this means to you and if you are able to work around your relationship without it or if it will be open for discussion later in the relationship. Try putting yourself in their shoes and refrain from being disappointed in them for not sharing in your adventure just yet. A healthy amount of good timing, empathy and togetherness could lead to your partner being on board with the idea of using sex toys and spicing up your relationship.

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